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Source: National Journal
WH senior economic adviser Austan Goolsbee took home the top prize at last night's "Funniest Celebrity in Washington" event, besting 11 other contestants with an edgy, sarcastic performance that drew laughs and also raised a few eyebrows.
Goolsbee beat out a cadre of DC journalists, politicos and other "celebs" including Americans for Tax Reform pres. Grover Norquist, Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA) and "Joe the Plumber" Samuel Wurzelbacher at the annual event, poking fun at himself, the admin. and Fox News Channel.
Goolsbee, on himself: "I'm just a guy from Chicago (future Fed chair)."
On the admin.: "When we came in office, it was not that fun of a time to be here, because of the economy. But it was okay, because as we took office, it was an all-star team of economists, and we basically knew what to do -- panic."
On rescuing the economy: "It's been a long, long time since things were this bad, so we kind of had to go back and look at the old textbooks -- Karl Marx, Trotsky."
On Fox: "We all want our kids to be educated. Think of somebody in today's world, in the 21st century. If you have no skills, and no education, and you don't know anything, what future do you possibly have? -- Fox News correspondent."
He also roasted Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE), who was honored at the event with a "Lifetime Achievement Award."
Goolsbee: "Senator Nelson is a Democrat. It's true, he voted for the Bush tax cuts. He voted against the Obama budget, and he got the public option killed in the Senate, ... If you think through the history of this country, there are many leading figures that he reminds me of -- Benedict Arnold."
Nelson, who took the stage just before Goolsbee, drew laughs of his own as he delivered zinger after zinger in his acceptance speech.
Nelson, on receiving the award: "To be recognized in Washington for something other than picking up women in North Korea or ditching them in Argentina is a real welcome change of pace."
On Norquist: "Grover finds these events very valuable. Because if he has his way on health care, laughter will be the only medication."
On health care: "There's talk about splitting the health care bill into two parts, kind of like John Edwards' 'two Americas,' only there wouldn't be a paternity test to determine your coverage."
On birthers: "We really need to stop this push to demand birth certificates for our elected officials. It really would be a pain if Senator Byrd had to roll out those big, old tablets every time he ran for re-election."
And finally, on his "lifetime achievement" award: "I'd like to thank Senator Burris for making me feel like it was okay to carve this honor in stone on my mausoleum."
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